A sex obstacle with complicated background
E whether I intersect ten more than old friend of year in Mr. and Mrs. in monarch just, F was the intellectual scholar, two people, getting married eight years ago, at that time, I also had a meagre present to congratulate it. In two years after marriage, happily add a boy. No matter from which respect looks, this is all a happy family. F lady seems more successful than F monarch in career. However, 34 years ago, listened to F monarch mentioning once in a while sexual life in the wedding is disharmonious, I had not involved sexology yet at that time, had not looked out either. In this year, I have begun to study intensively sexology, often keep in touch with the personage of consultation circle of the sex, when with getting to you together, often the referring to. F monarch hopes I can give him some help. I did not think definitely at that time, this example involved among oneself chance had very great intension, in sex physiology, sex psychology and sex sociology different fields, study value. Even the old friend who it is very deep to intersect, refer to the sexual life, F monarch is a bit shy too. Just he had not emptied one's purse to tell to me when beginning, I, to its discoveries of different complicated cruxes, finish step by step. The statement of F monarch begins from complaining. At the time of the first marriage, F lady also demonstrates certain interest to the sexual life, but since there are sons, have on sexual life and resist the attitude, the not proposing requirement never voluntarily at dawn, and is very disgusted with requirement that F monarch passes couple's life, though only 30 years old, but did not agree to a sexual life for two or three months. One hundred sheetses of monarch naturally will force wife, can only constrain one's own desire, the agony easy to imagine. F monarch ancestor thinks the wife is that the sex is cold, he asks me what to do to make her improve warmly for the main fact. I propose should let, seek medical advice with him lady, because couple thing at that time, it is very difficult to draw a conclusion to only pass one-sided consultation. However, F monarch says, this is impossible definitely. First of all, F lady thinks her look like this is very normal; Secondly, go doctor of seeing etc., pieces of shame-faced thing, the intersection of F and Mrs. answer while being impossible not merely, monarch can not do the knife too. I suggest, I can let the doctor that know well open some medicines to promote woman's sexual desire, however, F monarch says again, F lady can never agree to take medicine. I tell F monarch, if F lady refuses to cooperate, what wise moves it is really very difficult to have. F monarch obviously refers to this with wife constantly after going home, in the near future, he tells me, whenever he mentions this question, F Mrs. upbraid him to be boring, can not accept the opinion of seeking medical advice jointly still more. I can only make great efforts to mention the doctor's responsibility. I tell F monarch, women's indifference to the sexual life often because the climax is experienced insufficiently, so, he should try to make the wife experience more climaxes through lengthening time and versatility posture of sexual intercourse,etc.. Her abundant enjoyment, the sexual desire will be strong naturally. I still lend some books to him, let his theory " studied " combining practice . When meet two months later, but F monarch puts on a long face to tell me, all efforts of his failed, when F lady agreed to make love under his begging, she not merely refused to change the posture, even refuse to kiss, what is more, F monarch says: "I want to lengthen time, let her reach a climax, but she herself is unwilling, always say ' you can finish as soon as possible '. " F lady " The interest of sex " It is really very " Grim " . A woman's sex is cold, always have reasons. Because the man's leading status in the sexual life, we often always find the crux making the woman cold at man's place. Then I ask the straight monarch: "How on earth are you yourself? " The knife monarch swears saying swearing: "I am very good. Not only the organ is very good, the physique is also very good, should absolutely make the woman satisfied. " However, far not enough to guarantee to make the woman satisfied to only have these, the strong man will only let the woman feel rude sometimes, woman's impression of sex not merely comes from the organ, but a polyhedron definitely. Does F lady when being newly-married have some interests to sex? Do I help F monarch to analyze, know a method unintentionally of his, make F lady so cold as to discuss to the sex? F monarch thinks, says: "I do not know. " But I believe, the straight monarch's responsibility can't be got rid of. In the near future, I see the intersection of F and Mrs., at the unoccupied willow, criticize the intersection of F and you unintentionally lady: "He is glad to just think of oneself, have never considered child and me "F lady's words are certainly referring to in general, but I have thought of their sex in life immediately. A few days later, I ask F monarch: "At the time of the sexual life, do you consider her feeling? " F monarch says: "We each one take care of each one. " The thing has been already very clear. I tell F monarch, he must go to care about the wife's feeling more. F monarch has promised. However, I see, really absolutely not accompany the work of one day as a good sex, this is actually a requirement for a whole man. If not one is good at showing consideration for the wife, care about others' man, how can have tender feeling only on the sex alone? Moreover, another important problem is, F lady's indifference has already taken shape, it is very difficult for F monarch to have leeway to put to good use under a cold face. Perhaps, can only rely on some special methods. I lend a video-tape which the wests educate to F monarch, let he and his wife look together, place hope on stimulating the feeling of F lady. After the one week, F monarch come return video-tape, telling me whether watching for the first time, F very much excited in madam, he makes love immediately. After making love, F lady stands up, refuses to watch the video. I have found the fault of F monarch immediately, he has paid attention to one's own feeling very much, he should not be eager to make love, but should be after F lady's desire is unable to control oneself because of being stimulated by the video, and then stand, suffering, is accompanied by caressing, stimulates at the same time, later made love again. Like him, the video has not been put yet, the sexual behavior has already been over, how can change the psychology of F lady fundamentally? F monarch promises to retry at that night, I tell him again, don't think absolutely oneself is happy this time, and should do everything possible to make the lady happy. This is his only chance, so long as the sexual desire of F lady is looked at and stimulated, what does it have to do with he is unhappy, does not have a climax? F lady will compensate him in the future. F monarch smiles and claims: "You let me put and angle the big fish long-line like this. " I say: "Certainly. The clever man always catches the woman's by making woman's acquired character enjoy. " F monarch promises not to just think of oneself again, totally let the lady enjoy a whole night. The next day, F monarch phoned, told me depressedly, he failed again. Originally, the intersection of F and Mrs. view from the point of refusing video at the beginning last night, as oneself, monarch of F, in that there enjoy visual when in pleasant sensation, F lady touches the pillow and sleeps big, is not swayed. Transfer to it and still talk to F monarch with great emphasis in the morning: "Return the video-tape quickly ,Will always think of such a thing when going down in this way, make mistakes. " I am surprised having a so strong crime sense to the lady, will regard the happy chasing normally of sex as dreadful monsters. My private life to F monarch " Intervene " Go on after the half a year, one, in the chat of monarch, he mention with F F Mrs. take, reduce weight medicine often accidentally. I tell him immediately, a lot of reduce weight the medicine will inhibit the sexual desire too while inhibiting appetite, the sex of F lady is cold, consider that may have some relations with it from physiology. In addition, some depressor, resisting ulcer medicine and antidepressants, even sleep peacefully, the type medicine relieving pain may influence people's sexual desire. F monarch says: "I have suffered from insomnia during these years, have nearly take sleeping pill every night just the able person sleepsed, have not felt that influence the sexual desire. " I tell he, a kind of satisfied behavior that his insomnia actually exactly sexual desire fails. And habitual insomnia and long-term taking medicine, can influence his sex ability, so, he needs to reexamine one's own confidence. F monarch want, admit he feel oneself desire been light, it is mostly unable to do what one wishes really recently, often present impotence. It seems, a kind of vicious circle, has already displayed on F monarch. One Sunday, I make a phone call to F monarch, he tells me, have just come back from the church. I have just remembered, F monarch and his wife are all Christians, except that F monarch is not keen on the religion in this, seldom refer to, so I nearly all forget. F monarch tells me on the phone: "I have not gone to the church for a long time, but she is very pious, go each Sunday. " As soon as I am bright at the moment, information of a certain deposit in thinking has been shaken like this: F lady is a pious religionist! Her relatives of parents are all Christians, she grew up in the religious atmosphere while as a child! This fact, for explaining it is too important that the sex of F lady is cold, I am unable to forgive oneself for neglecting it unexpectedly before this. As everyone knows, Christianity regards the sexual desire as " original sin " ,Think Adam and Eve, the reason why evicted from the Garden of Eden and because of this original sin. According to the opinion of Christianity, the religionist's sexual life is only when it is for the purpose of bearing, it is proper, otherwise the crime. In at sexual life, pursue by to enjoy more wicked to the extremely sense organ,so-called " it is happy too, and then " . The right to people is being deprived the Middle Ages when hold most, some wives do not even all allow the husband to see or touch one's own naked body for all one's life, the sex traffic crosses a aperture held the middle the nightdress and goes on, once pregnant, couple's life that relieve oneself. Certainly, historical development will not exist in such excessive taboo until today, however, F lady grew in the pious religious family while as a child, is influenced by the surroundings by Christianity's thought, bury the deep-rooted constraint in her thought depths, it is apparent and apt to see. The fruit is like this, her all sorts of attitudes to sexual life, can find the basis from the angle of culture. Also just in that time and meeting of F lady, I experience, she is discontended with a lot of philosophy of life of F monarch's, especially lack that kind of professional dedication that herself has. This is a very eager to excel in whatever one does woman, the her own one is very successful. And F monarch belongs to that kind of person without worldly desires, but too without worldly desires, reflect that one kind is not asked aggressively. I have to want, F lady and F monarch have different philosophy of life, she has obvious discontent to him, will this kind of discontent to whole person influence her sex feeling too? After all, there are too many things influencing women to experience. , F married couple's sexual life obstacle, has already exposed the reason why they are in various fields in sex physiology, sex psychology and sex sociology. I clearly know, can depend on not succeeding in helping them with F monarch's one-sided talk simply. If you want to change the state of F monarch and his his wife, need too many efforts. And the greatest difficult problem is, F lady rejects the doctor's help. I am really powerless. The sexual life is beautiful, but safeguard the beautiful sexual life, need us to make a lot of concrete efforts. (responsible editor Yan Fei) Transfer to, select from drgama.com " cross-centennial "
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