Love and become the _ love time of the other person

Love and become the _ love time of the other person

It is 30th birthday of my, found 30 -year-old oneself suddenly, this flourishing city did not have nothing in Taiyuan: Have no kindred, not have without one's own family, even a love. I drank a lot alone today " The person of China of sesame " ,
Can be regarded as a formal curtain call of age of two word very beginning to oneself Then, having a few nips in the air night of summer in this, I am so sober that the picture has never fallen asleep. While weeping one's heart out, I ask oneself: Do I really love him?
In autumn of 2000, I came to the city on this loess high slope in Taiyuan alone, at that time, as to this city I loved incomparably. The hope is hoping to live with that boy who I like every day on 22 -year-old my birthday, then give birth to a child with him and belong to his city to live in this for all one's life happily. After I came to Taiyuan following that boy two months ago, my hope evaporated. He tells me clearly, he has one's own favorite persons, just as it fell down suddenly, why he did not so tell me clearly before I do not know the ones that are at a loss. Does he hope to verify one's own glamour?
That evening, I without several yuan in the pocket, suddenly found oneself was so blind originally: For a love without shade, leave one's own city, leave parents and relative, will throw a totally strange city by oneself. One is half dead and half alive that I have cried in one's own quilt, the ones that weep one's heart out are simultaneous I ask oneself: Do I really love him? The answer is denied. But I am really at that night, flowing tries my tears best, this is still with deep impression after 8 years.
It is desperate to have no enough time to continue, because I must go to look for a job for one's own mouth. Half a year later, I had a very lofty job - --Probational reporter. And he has got married. I do not know whether there is the relation in this and I, but I have really already forgotten him. What I still remember is that delicate and pretty boy knowing at the age of 19.
Not arriving yet in New Year of 2002, but I did not see that young and clean face and his skinny figure again. I think against the candle flickering, the youth has left from of the 23rd birthday, will have gone for ever, so I will catch it trying my best. I was not a little girl substantially as raining of tears for a first love not begun at that time. Taiyuan is not really very large, in one year, it can't have been familiar with any more that I have already been familiar with it.
From north camp to the unit, I will take public transit two times every day, in order to let me have money to stand up, I do various selected titles desperately, I am just on the road at over 6 o'clock in the early morning of every day. Sit at car, see city brilliant I am always full of more looking toward outside the window hoping. Several times, as my sight floats towards the time outside window, I feel that there are a pair of eyes that are always dissociated on my face. I see over along that sight, a young and clean face, is facing toward me and smile, I am a smile of his from going back either. Since that day, " on the road " It is no longer uninteresting and difficult journey. And I begin to think that has already incorporated this city by oneself.
He and I can often be run into on the same bus 11, we always smile at each other knowingly, one smile just, work for one day to think these are actually nothing at all. But gradually, I begin to be unsatisfied with such depending on, I wish eagerly to further understand him, is close to him, I believe he has idea like mine too, but why does not he speak with me? Even if just have a talk the mutual work is good. Let me calculate in the heart, I want to wait until New Year of 2002, he did not speak with me at that time, I must say hello with him first. I have practised in the heart many times. Not arriving yet in New Year of 2002, but I did not see that young and clean face and his skinny figure again.
For a time, shake off over in I am unable frustrated from that kind: What has he appeared? Does he leave Taiyuan? If not so, I believe he will see me, he will not never greet and walk with me like this. I suddenly found in the darkness, this was not real love. And I, a real love that been in fact wishing eagerly all the time. The near to worthies street is not the place that I like. Known as the gathering ground that is petty bourgeoisie, white collar, car many people's noise and excitement there there, not fit for this kind of mine and like a little lively but not like too lively person to go.
But I still very vulgar have, like, have a meal, come to like that kind, get coffee shop discuss prevailing custom of thing too. Sit in facing the seat in the window and drink coffee, is chatting thinly, there are not words that can say once in a while, look outside the window, everything accords with one's own imagination. Because have a meal together, I have known him, can give my lonely life a little warm persons. He accompanies me to spend the person 24th birthday, is a stranger too, have no love just the same as I, so we have an opportunity to drink coffee together frequently, then get to the west from the east of the near to worthies street, then every every family.



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